Why Waste Another Day of Your Life?
Have you ever noticed that in conversations, often it is not about ideas, thoughts and strategies, it's about other people or it's about complaints. Unfortunately, many people prefer a victim mentality. What do you do with these people and/or how do you relate to them? Do you stay in communication with them? You have to look, I believe, at the greater good. What is the value of staying in the relationship? What is the value of ending it?
People tend to congregate around others who share comparable ideas and values. Many haven't learned, yet, that they attract people similar to themselves into their lives. Typically because it is human nature to like consistency, not much changes in daily interaction between friends. We choose the same seats when we go to our favourite coffee shop. We drive the same way to work every day. We don't like surprises.
Use these people and situations as an informative experience. By being aware, we can learn to adjust or direct the flow of what is going on or what is being said. Possibly, we can can even stop the situation before it escalates. We can work on changing those qualities about ourselves which are obviously a trigger for these situations and analyze what we could do to ameliorate the situation. Try looking at a negative event from a different perspective. Ask, "What can I learn from what this person did or said? How do I deal with this situation in a pleasant and beneficial way for both of us?"
Have you ever sat and been an observer? I'd love to encourage you to do that this week. It is fascinating when you pay attention while a conversation is in progress. What dynamics are occuring? Who drives the direction of the discussion? How might you provide clarity to or change the direction? How can what is being examined be used beneficially for yourself or the other participants.
I don't know about you, but when I undergo something that truly upsets me, I don't want it to reoccur. I don't want to magnetize those types of people back into my life. I also am convinced that every time you rehash the same old dialogue, everytime you reveal what he did, she did, they said, it forces you right back to that point in history. Your body comes face to face with all the same emotions and physical reactions as it did originally. Why waste another day of your life, or another minute of your life experiencing something that made you tense or unhappy? When you find yourself where the situation is less than ideal, pay attention to the details. Don't react. Respond instead and see if you can't investigate a way to eliminate these types of things in the future.